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Showing posts from March, 2015

Fifteen Years

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This time of year is always difficult for me.   Difficult.   It’s a ridiculous word to describe it really.   Difficult? This time of year is always painful for me.   Over the years, the pain quotient has varied – some years more, some years less.   But always, always , the pain is there. It’s this time of year when the dreams come back strong and I get even less sleep than normal.   It’s at this time of year that the memories are strongest; memories that the rest of the year I can push in to the recesses of my mind.   Things that most of the time I’d rather be able to forget.   I know that’s not only an unrealistic way of dealing with something, it’s not a fair way.   It’s just an easy way out of a hard situation, which is hardly a mature way of dealing with anything. But that’s the thing, when those memories are strongest and the pain makes its reappearance, I don’t feel very mature.   I feel like that 16-year...