A Corner Table in My World

This time of year is always difficult for me.   Difficult.   It’s a ridiculous word to describe it really.   Difficult? This time of year is always painful for me.   Over the years, the pain quotient has varied – some years more, some years less.   But always, always , the pain is there. It’s this time of year when the dreams come back strong and I get even less sleep than normal.   It’s at this time of year that the memories are strongest; memories that the rest of the year I can push in to the recesses of my mind.   Things that most of the time I’d rather be able to forget.   I know that’s not only an unrealistic way of dealing with something, it’s not a fair way.   It’s just an easy way out of a hard situation, which is hardly a mature way of dealing with anything. But that’s the thing, when those memories are strongest and the pain makes its reappearance, I don’t feel very mature.   I feel like that 16-year...

So right now there are probably a dozen other things that I should be doing.   Not only that, but I had an entirely different post written that I intended to put up and then this morning I had a little snafu.   I don’t know what else to call it without making it seem way more important than it really is so snafu is what I settled on. I mentioned a while ago that I was having problems getting Baby on the ice at skating but that I was using the “wisdom” that I’d learned from my experiences with Boy to get through them, or around them, and not completely stress myself out.   Well apparently I spoke WAY too soon. The last couple of weeks I haven’t been able to get Baby to do anything.   And I do mean anything.   I can’t get her to skate, to do gymnastics, to listen at home, to keep her clothes on… nothing.   She’s started having temper tantrums more and more frequently, she’s always been the most strong-willed of the kids even if she’s usually more sub...

I think that the whole school/university thing will be okay.  The first day went really well anyways.  I enjoyed the classes I'm registered in, with one small exception which I'm going to rectify and with what I'll have left I think I'll be busy, even really busy sometimes, but I don't think it'll ever become something that I can't handle.  For now, I guess, I'll keep my fingers crossed on that. Of course, not everything could continue to be all sunshine and rainbows though.  I got through my day fine, only to find out that ZONA got in trouble at school today.  Stupid, little, stuffed toys that she can hide in her jacket pocket.  She was told on the first day that no toys were to be brought to school - except for on 'special days,' and I told her on Tuesday that she was NOT allowed to take the little thing to show her friends... But the little brat just had to do it anyways.  So, ha ha ha, she was told after school today that if she brought ...